You might be a redneck
by Napkin-kun
Summary: Find out what happens when you get all the genin teams on Naruto and stick them in the southern part of the USA!
1. Ch1 Headin' South!

Hello there! This is my first Naruto story on here. >.> Erm... not much to say except I DO NOT own Naruto, or anything like that so... yeah... This first chapter is a bit boring, but it'll get better along the way. Enjoy! OwO

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"Dammit, he's late again! What the hell does Sensei do when he's late?"

"I have no clue, but who cares... It's not like we do anything important anyways, Naruto."

"Yeah, you're right. WE NEED SOMETHING FUN TO DO!"

The conversation ended right there, as the two boys saw Sakura waving into the horizon. There seemed to be nothing there as Sasuke and Naruto looked in the direction Sakura was staring off into.

"Ino!" the pink-haired girl yelled out. A smile was on her face as her friend started to swiftly run in her direction. Behind the blonde was the whiner, Shikamaru, and the glutton, Chouji. As Ino strode up, she grinned at Sakura. Shikamaru looked confused. "Why are you guys here?" he questioned. "Question is, why are YOU here?" Naruto said angrily, hoping that nobody else would show up. "Ugggh... We're waiting for our sensei. He said to wait here for him." Shika boredly replied. He sat down under a tree, Chouji staying silent at his side. Sakura and Ino started a conversation, yet then looked in the distance to see three more figures start walking up.

"Oh no..." Sakura said, and she ran up a tree. Naruto noticed this, and looked over to the figures ahead. "Hey Sak-" Naruto started to say, but then was cut off by a familiar voice as the beings in the horizon had shown up in front of them. The people who had shown up this time was Neji, TenTen, and Rock Lee. "SAKURA-CHAN!" lee yelled out to Sakura. He had seen her climb up the tree. "Erm... Hi Lee..." she said annoyed as the girl climbed down. Neji had a small smirk on his face, and questioned the others about why they were all here. He got the same answer fomr Shikamaru, and Sasuke. TenTen just giggled at the conversation Lee and Sakura were having. Sakura looked embarrased and bored during the whole tlak with Lee. that was until Sasuke walked up to stop it.

"Shut it Lee, stop talking to Sakura or I'll have to slit your throat. I'm not feeling well today and your babbling is making my head hurt even worse."

"Sigh... you always need her for yourself. Am I right, Uchiha?"

"I'm warning you..."

"Whatever... I'll talk to you later Sakura-chan!" Lee ended with a smile towardshis crush. He blew a heart to her (yet it was dodged) and he walked over to talk to Neji.

A few minutes passed and there were six figures with three on two different sides oming the same way. Then, as usuall it was the genin teams, the last of them. There was Shino, Kiba (Akamaru), and Hinata, then the other team was the sand genins. Gaara, Tenmari, and Kankurou. Gaara just glared at everyone as Tenmari and Kakuro stood beside him in silence. Kiba looked a little shocked and asked everyone what they were doing there. He got the same reply that they were all waiting on their senseis. Naruto spotted Hinata quickly, and skipped over to her. "Hello Hinata! You look nice today!" he grinned. Hinata blushed and replied quietly. "Hel-hel-hello Naruto-ku-kun." Her eyes looked at the ground right after she spoke. Shino just watched everyone else talk, and the sand genins got in a circle discussing something "top secret".

A few more minutes passed and everyone started to get annoyed by how their senseis hadn't shown up yet. Then Naruto screamed out "KAKASHI-SENSEI! HUZZAH!" and ran up to go talk to Kakashi, who was sitting on a telephone poll. He jumped down and walked up to the group. "Uhh... Hi Naruto. Hi everyone. Erm... your senseis won't be showing up today, or you won't see them for next few months." Everyone looked shocked at the news, and they didn't say a word, to speechless the even say anything at all. "But, the reason is" Kakashi began again "that they are going on small missions and vacation for a little while as you guys will be gone. They told me to tell you all since I really don't want to go anywhere on vacation with them, yet I'm staying here with the Hokage since less Jounins will be around."

"So, where are we going... is it a mission! HUH! HUH!" Naruto asked excitedly.

"Oh, yeah, it is a mission. A pretty important one too. We are sending you all to the United States... in the SOUTH!" Kakashi spoke.

"The South? What for?" Sakura questioned. "Well, " Kakashi started "we're curious to see if in the south they are planning any attacks around here. Ever since that George Bush fellow was elected as their leader we've been kind of jumpy. The United States is already at war because of all the weapons they own, and they might pick us next! You guys are going to this country, near the state where this man was born. You need to be spys, and get all the information you can out of these guys. So um... good luck. Oh, and when you get there, on the plane there you will have a few sets of clothes and supplies for the "houses" you'll be staying in. There are sets of clothes suited for that part of the country. There will also be notebooks to take notes, and other things. Gosh, I've talked enough. Here are the directions to the plane, and what time. Good luck." With that, Kakashi handed them a schedule of their flight time, where they will be staying at, who they need to find, and lots of information. Then the sensei hopped off to the adult theatre.

"C'mon guys, OFF TO THE PLANE!" Naruto yelled excitedly. Everyone was confused as all of what Kakashi had told them, and a little worried. Yet they followed Naruto to the taxi cab that would take them to the airport.

(At the airport)

The whole group ran into the airport in a hurry, trying to find their plane. "How troublesome.." Shikamaru grumbled as they ran in all directions. The sand team just sighed with bordem and anger as team seven tried to lead them all in the right direction. "Dammit! Stop real quick!" Neji yelled. The group stopped and stared at them. "BYAKUGEN!" he yelled. The veins around his eyes popped up, and Neji scanned the whole airport with his technique. "Which station are we supposed to be at again?" he asked. "N-number... 7" Hinata stuttered, looking at the ground. "Thanks" Neji said quickly, and spotted it. "This way!" he said and led everyone to the right plane. The plane was going to leave in five minutes after they all got there. They all happily (except the sand team) started to walk up. "So, who has the tickets?" Sasuke asked. "I do!" Chouji said, looking in his pocket for the plane tickets Kakashi had handed him. "Oh wait... oops..." he said with a stunned look on his face. "What, DON'T TELL ME YOU LOST THEM YOU FAT PIG!" Ino shreiked. "I didn't lose them..." Chouji said sheepishly.

"Then where are they?"

"I... I ate them."

"You WHAT!" the whole group screeched, angry looks in their eyes. The man who was taking the tickets started talking "Oh well, guess you kids aren't going. "Yes we are." Gaara said, the sand coming out of his gourd. It constricted around the old man, and tightened a little. "Yes...yes...sir! Go along now kids!" the man said sweating with fear. "Good." Gaara said, and led everyone onto the plane. In the next few hours, they would all be in the southern part of the United States. 


	2. Ch2 Cotton Eyed Joe

Hello again! - Here is the second chapter of meh story! And also, don't flame me for making fun of the south. I live in Texas, and I can make fun of my family. X3 Enjoy!

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"Hey! Look at all these cornfields" that was the sound of an anxious Naruto after seven hours of silence on the plane. A grin was on the boy's face as he looked out the window. Evenyone else looked down except for Gaara and Sasuke. They didn't care to see some pointless cornfields. "God this is going to be one hell of an experience." Sasuke grumbled under his breath. Nobody noticed him talking since everyone was to busy looking at all the scenery. The plane started to dip lower and lower as they were getting ready to land for the first time on United States soil. Everyone stayed silent until they landed.

"YEAH! We're finally here!" Sakura and Ino squeaked as the plane landed. Everyone hopped off the plane, and went to find the person Kakashi wrote down. "Okay guys, remember, this guy will be holding a sign. His name is... 'Ruri.'. Got it?" Sakura asked everyone. Everybody just nodded and follwed her to to find the man that would lead them to their houses. Then after a few seconds of searching, there appeared a man holding up a sign that said 'Kakashi's kids here'. Everyone knew that meant them, and ran up to the guy. "Hello there Mister! Are you Ruri?" Naruto asked, still smiling. The man nodded and said "This way". He walked out into the parking lot with the group following him like baby ducks. Then, there stood a hug black limo. "WOAH! IS THIS OURS!" Naruto asked jumping around."Naruto...shut up." Sasuke said annoyed. "Seriously Naruto, stoped getting so hyped up all the time." Shikamaru agreed. Yet everyone else was on Naruto's side. They started getting chatty as they all saw the limo.

Ruri opened the door to the limo, and let everyone inside. "Ooo! Sakura-chan! Let me sit by you!" Lee asked while grinning. Sakura just stared at him and said "Erm... how about later?". Lee looked pitiful as Sakura sat next to Sasuke. Sasuke noticed this and let her sit down beside him. The Uchiha thought well of himself since he did like Sakura, maybe even more than just a teamate and a friend. Everyone else sat by another random person, and then they were off in the wide wide world of southern hicks. As they looked thorough the windows, the buildings were sort of like their structures, yet the people weren't. Naruto stopped looking and gulped right after he had just seen a very fat naked man riding a huge pig. "I feel sick!" the fox boy said, clutching his gut.

Soon the limo stopped and the group got out. Sakura noticed a large sign in front of the place they had stopped at. "Maybury TRAILOR PARK! Oh no! I've read about these on the plane!" she said worringly. Everyone else just looked shocked except for Neji. He was pretty interested in seeing a house with wheels. "Wow! These look pretty nice!" he said. "Byakugen!" he did his technique to see inside the trailor homes. He then relized it wasn't as good as he thought as he saw some of the people in some of the homes. "Oh dear..." he whispered to himself.

"Okay, now, there is going to be two to three people per home." Ruri started to tell everyone. "You can pick whoever you like to stay with you." He then went to the trunk of the limo. "Come get your supply bags over here, you kids." he said. The group walked over there and everyone got their supply bag. "There is a cellphone in there for all of you just in case the Southerners start to attack, or any problems. Just call me, and we'll send a ninja team over there as fast as we can. See you guys later, and remember... TAKE ALL THE NOTES OYU CAN!". With that, Ruri jumped back into the limo, and drove off.

Gaara looked at Kankuro. "You will stay with me." he said. Kankuro looked at him and agreed. Even though he wanted to be in a trailor with someone else, he had to agree or else face Gaara's wrath. Lee strode over to Sakura while blushing a little bit. "Sakura-chan! Want to stay with me! Pleeeease!" he said lovingly. Sskura just stood there while Sasuke jogged up. "To bad Lee, she's staying with me. Now get your ass out of here before I kick it.". Lee backed off out of annoyance and decided to stay with Neji. Sakura beamed as her and Sasuke went into a trailor. Naruto walked up to a scared Hinata and grinned. "Hey! Hinata! Wanna be in my trailor? Huh? Huh?" he asked. Hinata started blushing so much her whole face was as red as a raspberry. "Well.. I ... umm... well.." she started to speak. Naruto looked a little gloomy and said "Well if you don't that's okay..." but Hinata stopped him. "Wait, Na-Naru-Naruto-kun. I'll...I'll be in you-you-your tr-trailor...ifi-if tha-that's o-o-o-ok! Oh! I-I'mso-sor-sorry! I-" she started to apologize yet Naruto just grinned again and cut her off by saying "Great! C'mon! Tally-hooooooo!" with that they both went into a trailor. Ino spyed Shikamaru and ran up to him. "SHIKA! STAY WITH ME!" she yelled. She grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and dragged him to the nearest trailor. Shikamaru slapped her away and went ovver to Chouji. He whispered in his ear. "Oi, Chouji, Ino wants to stay in a trailor with you.". Chouji's eyes widened at the news and walked overto Ino! "C'mon Ino! Hooray!" He put an arm around her waist and started to drag her into a trailor. Ino was angry and shocked. "EEEK! Damn you Shikamaru!". Shikamaru just stood there chuckling. "Troublesome woman." He said. He turned to fins Shino and Kib standing there. "You guys want to share a trailor?" he asked. They both looked at each other and then nodded. The three boys walked to a different trailor, away from Ino's and Chouji's. Lastly, TenTen and Tenmari were left. Tenmari looked at Ten Ten and sighed. "Well, since we're the leftovers, want to share a trailor?" she asked. TenTen smiled and gladly follwed Tenmari to the last empty trailor.

Everyone unpacked their clothes and were shocked to find what the clothes looked like. All the girls either had skimpy shorts and a tied up shirt (where it almost shows your boobs >.>) or a mini skirt and a tube top. The guys either had plaid open-up shirts with a white tank top to go underneath and some jeans, or overalls with no shirt. "Oh hell no..." was almost everyone's reaction. Yet Lee was quite interested. He took out the notepad and started writing things down. He wrote: "It seems what everyone is calling these southerners is "White Trash". That is the proper term for these people. To look like them, you must have these certain types of clothes as of the following:" He described each piece of clothing, and then put the notebook away.

Soon after everyone was dressed, tthey all walked out to see each other. Naruto was laughing at everyone as they all tried to coverup themselves. Hinata was embarrased and blushing a lot as she had earlier that day. She had on a mini-skirt and the tube top, almost showing her ...'stuff'. The rest of the group looked annoyed, and embarrased. Gaara's eyes had little veins in them, and he clutched his head "I can.. I can hear it..." he said while shaking. "What can you hear?" asked Kankuro, with a worried look on his face. "I need... TO PLAY IT! The banjo! It won't stop!" Gaara yelled. Soon, the sand from the gourd started pouring out. It formed into a banjo, and sat in Gaara's hands. He started to play a song...and sing to it.

" If it hadn't been for cotton eyed Joe  
I'd been married long ago  
Where did oyu come from, where did you go? Where'd you come from  
Cotton Eyed Joe?"

Gaara kept playing through the whole song, and then the sand returned to the gourd. "What...the...fuck?" Ino mumbled while everyone else was just to confused to say anything. Gaara closed his eyes and walked back int the trailor. Soon everyone went back to theirs since it was getting dark. All except Sasuke.

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Hey, Im sorry this chapter sucked too, but I promise you, it will get A LOT better. OwO (Spoiler for next chapter!

C.O.P.S!)


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